Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Five Things to do About Unanswered Prayers

Prayer is a tricky thing. Lots of books have been written on the topic, (my favorite is With Christ in the School of Prayer) yet many people remain confused. Especially when their prayers are not answered.

 Here are 5 thoughts to help you make sense of unanswered prayers:

1.      Don’t mistake the absence of the answer you want to be an unanswered prayer. If God hasn’t delivered on your request, it means the answer is either “No” or “Not Yet.”

2.      Most of your prayers are probably noble and God-honoring, but that doesn’t guarantee God will grant your request. God may want to accomplish what you want to accomplish, but do so with a different plan.

3.      Speaking of plans: Many people I coach want to know what their life purpose is, but oftentimes their requests are not granted because their paradigms are wrong:  They want to know their life purpose on their own terms when the real question to be in dialogue with God about is “What, Lord, is my role in your larger purpose?” Any request that doesn’t advance God’s agenda will not be granted.

4.      God has ordered the world to work by certain principles and dynamics.  What you’re praying for may be noble and loving and God-glorifying, but your attitude and actions (knowingly or unknowingly) are holding you back from experiencing what you want to experience.  In other words, God’s not denying you or punishing you:  You’re shooting yourself in your own foot.

5.      Searching the real condition of your heart can help you discern what’s going on in your prayer life.  Here’s a 2-minute exercise that may help:  Close your eyes.  Settle down your mind. Move your heart to neutral (as best you can) on the issue you are praying for.  Now, pretend Jesus himself is sitting across from you.  Picture him really there.  Flesh and bones. See Him vividly in your mind.  Next, say: “Jesus, you know the desires of my heart.  You know what I have been petitioning you for.  Why have you not responded in the way I want?”  Then imagine him replying:  “I’ll tell you why. It’s because________....” Now fill in the blank with his response. Now go adjust your mind, behavior, or prayers accordingly.

I hope this gives you a fresh frame of reference for your prayer life.

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Basic Wisdom I Heard on Wednesday

My oldest son (Neal) graduated on Thursday from Grand Canyon University in Phoenix. He graduated Summa Cum Laude. (Not that I’m proud of him or anything like that. As a friend of mine from Texas likes to say: “It ain’t braggin’ if it’s true!”)

The commencement speaker, Dr. Rick Rigsby, gave a great talk.  Most graduation talks seem full of sappy platitudes (to me at least), but his struck me as deeply profound… not to mention hilarious.

His overall theme was encouragement to positively impact the institutions, culture, and neighborhoods of God’s world with God’s love. His recommended method for doing so wasn’t by dreaming big, daringly greatly, or “following your passion.” It was to focus on “the basics of life.”

The basic premise that I liked the most was: “You are what you do every day.” I couldn’t agree more.  I came to the conclusion long ago that the sequence of events that dictate the trajectory of our lives goes like this:

How you think…

Leads to how you feel…

Leads to how you act…

Leads to your habits…

Shapes your character…

Determines the quality of your life…

Determines your destiny…

Defines your legacy…

You don’t have to be a rocket surgeon to see that our thinking is where it all starts. At the risk of high jacking Dr. Rigsby’s point, I think it’s safe to say “You are how you think every day.”

So, what are your thoughts about:

·        The true character of God

·        The whole point of Jesus’ life

·        What does He want for us?

·        What does He want from us?

·        The reality of the Holy Spirit available to followers of Christ

·        The source of true joy (Psalm 16:11John 10:10John 15:5-11Galatians 5:22-23, to name a few)

·        Is there a heaven?  Is there a hell?

If this list of issues confuses you, keep seeking. Start Googling. Get to a great church.  Crack open the bible.  Buy a bible. This stuff is too important to have a vaguely formed opinion about.

Don’t be “intellectually lazy” about this.  The quality of your life, your destiny and your legacy are on the line.

Go for it.

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Guaranteeing Peace, Patience and Joy

I had a fascinating week of coaching. Three clients had significant breakthroughs. Read on to discover their secrets.   

Friend #1 is newer to his faith, earnestly wants to know God, and is motivated by God’s promise of peace.  I love this guy because he’s just like me when I was early in pursuing The Truth: intellectualizing and over-thinking everything!

His breakthrough came by realizing that subconsciously he was searching the scriptures to prove it wrong instead of proving it true. He had reduced faith to an academic exercise and squeezed out all the mystery. While he’ll never get intellectually lazy or “check his brain at the door”, he’s reading scripture and praying with a more trusting heart.

He also told me that his historical intolerance of horrible drivers is lessening because he realizes “in the big scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter.” I wonder:  Is he acting more patiently?  Or, is the Spirit of God making him more patient?   

Friend #2 retired last year after a successful career for which he thanks God. Having said that, there was something professionally that he still wanted to prove to himself and others. He was toying with jumping back into the game instead of doing what he says God planted in his heart long ago: helping troubled youth.  

He recently turned down a lucrative, high-profile job and is now bringing his skills to a great organization helping teens. I’ve never heard him as solid, confident, and joyful as he was this week.

Is it because he’s effortlessly using his talents on an issue he has a deep passion for?  Or, because God is blessing his heart and his self-sacrificial love for the disadvantaged?

I’ve been coaching Friend #3 for three years and his storyline was getting tiresome quite frankly: Fear-based paralysis. We’ve all been here:  We know exactly what God wants --- and our own hearts crave -- yet we fear the hypothetical financial implications.

I’ve never seen him as free as he was this week. When I asked him what happened, he said his fear has simply evaporated, his love for his family has sky rocketed, and his vision of what to do next for the glory of God has crystallized. My eyes filled with tears because I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt I was witnessing a movement of God. 

This is a smart, capable, godly man with strong spiritual disciplines who for three years couldn’t muscle himself into this posture of heart.  And now, out of the blue, the fruit of joy and peace have miraculously sprung up.

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What’s the one thing you can learn from these three stories to shape your heart and your spiritual journey?

What’s one scripture you see at play in any of these stories?

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

The Best Way to Hear from God

Several years ago I was with my family at the beach in Florida for Spring Break. One day was particularly warm and beautiful — a special treat given it was March and it was still cold back home in the Colorado mountains. I was by the shoreline watching my 3 kids have a wonderful time playing in the waves. To top it off, I was with a good friend from home and we were having a great conversation. I was relishing the moment because even though my friend lives 10 minutes from me, our busy lives had made discussions like this less common lately. Happy kids. Sunny skies. Warm water. Good conversation. What more do you want from a beach vacation?

At about that time, I heard my wife, Michelle, calling out to me a hundred yards from the water’s edge, but the sound of the waves and childrens’ laughter were muting her voice. I have to confess that my initial reaction was irritation. Everything’s perfect, so why does she have to disrupt this rare moment of bliss? After 2-3 failed attempts to understand her, I finally apologized to my friend, excused myself, and walked, semi-seething, away from the water towards Michelle. As I got closer to her, she said in calm voice: “Whenever you’re ready, I have cold drinks and ham sandwiches made for you.” The first thought that came to mind was: “You, Jeff, are a schmuck.” In my little waters-edge world, I couldn’t imagine anything else I needed. But as I went toward to the quiet voice a surprising blessing was awaiting me.

Later that night, I thought about that experience and realized how it mirrors much of my journey toward a life closer to God:

1. I need to frequently get away from the noisiness of my daily life and move closer to God to hear what He has to say to me.

2. Even when life seems to be just right (as defined by my flawed human mind), God has something in store for me that is better. He loves me, and His plan for my life, though possibly quite dif­ferent from my current life, will be joyful.

I often ask successful people, Christians and non-Christians, how they would rank the quality of their lives on a 1-5 scale. Not in terms of finances, but in general: How good is life for you? Most say they’re “ok” and rank their lives “somewhere in the 4 range”. Think about that for yourself for a moment. How would you rank the quality of your life?

Now imagine the scale goes to 20. How does it make you feel to know that that there is a whole other level of joy, peace, and fulfillment that’s available to you that you aren’t even aware of? My encouragement is to get quiet often, draw close to God, and go get your cold drink and ham sandwich from Him.

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

My Conversation with the Prince

The Prince of Discipleship that is.  (The King would be Jesus, of course.)  His name is John Tolson and he has been discipling men since the 1980’s.  I spoke with him on Monday thanks to an introduction by a friend.  My friend knows that I want to invest my life discipling men in Colorado: Going on a life-on-life journey to help them understand God… and let that awareness and power inform every dimension of their lives. It’s the pathway to freedom, joy and finding our role in bringing heaven to earth.

For the record, in addition to dedicating his life to discipleship, John is also an author, teacher, and has been the chaplain for the Houston Rockets, Houston Astros, Houston Oilers, Orlando Magic and Dallas Cowboys.

One question I asked John was: What are the two biggest obstacles people run into as they move into spiritual maturity and freedom?

He said, “That’s easy: They don’t love themselves and they don’t know how to engage in the spiritual disciplines.”

I was shocked at the speed and simplicity of his answer, but not really surprised by the answer itself.

In The Joy Model, I stress how important it is to start our journey to joy by asking two questions: “Who is God?” and “Who am I?”  If you get these two right, you’ll love yourself.

How do you get those two right?  Do what John says: Engage in the spiritual disciplines.  (I talk about these in Chapter 6: Abide.) John says people have over-complicated the disciplines.  They need someone to teach them about prayer, studying the bible, worship, silence, solitude, journaling, fasting, and service.  Then they need someone to coach, encourage and correct them over time as they engage in a trial-and-error adventure of a life time.

Rarely does God just wow us out of the blue with some amazing epiphany.  We need to manage our schedules, environments and minds to let God reveal the secrets of living the abundant life. If you’re stuck, find someone to disciple you.

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Good News & Bad News

Good News and Bad News

The good news is that when Jesus said He came to “set the oppressed free” (Luke 4:17-21) he was speaking directly to you and me. You see, there are three types of “oppressed” people: 1. Those separated from God by sin and at risk of spending eternity in hell.  2.  Those who are socially and economically oppressed. 3. Those who are psychologically oppressed with worry, anger, shame and/or guilt.

My hunch is that you fall into one or more of these categories, and, therefore, the promise of Freedom is good news indeed.

Now for the bad news: The pathway to freedom in Category 3 -- psychological freedom -- isn’t always instant. It takes time and intentionality.  This is what the Apostle Paul meant when he said “work out your salvation.” (Phil 2:12) (The salvation referred to in Category 1  – heaven v. hell – is, fortunately, instant.  All you have to do is solemnly commit to believe in and follow Christ’s teaching. Your performance doesn’t have to be perfect, but your intention must be genuine.)

So what’s the deal with psychological freedom? It’s a slower process that works against the modern notion that everything can be accelerated through speed and efficiency.

I listened to a great podcast while doing yard work this week that nailed this point. (Now that I think about it, there’s a hack for you: Leverage your phone to get Truth into your brain while doing other things.) The speaker said we live in a culture that sees the world through the lens of information and leverage.  Yet the kingdom of God runs on wisdom and mystery.

I’m convinced that if Jesus came back now, He would still use agricultural metaphors to describe His kingdom. Freedom is the result of the Fruit of the Spirit growing up in our hearts by routinely attaching to The Vine via prayer, studying the bible, journaling, extended time alone with Jesus, hanging out with people of mature faith, going to a bible-teaching church, and reading great books.

And, guess what, over time, as the mystery transforms us, we’ll have so much gratitude, humility and fearless that we’ll break out of the smothering pattern of living lives of self-preservation built on the illusion of security in something other than Jesus. We’ll be changed by love, compelled to love, and propelled to love. 

And here’s where it all comes full circle: The free and proactive Christian is God’s Plan A for setting the socially and economically oppressed free. Pretty cool how God arranged all of that, huh?

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Stop Reinventing the Wheel

In the late 90’s/early 2000’s I was frustrated with life.  If you’ve read my book or blogs or listened to my podcasts you know that I describe this season as “smoldering discontent:” My marriage was fine. The kids were healthy. Work was good but not great. I had some close friends. I loved living in Colorado.  But something was missing.

I distinctly remember thinking to myself:  “I’ve been on this planet almost 40 years. Why am I trying to reinvent the wheel of figuring out how life really works?” I was humbled enough to admit that maybe I was a “know-it-all.” (Something 3 people I respect in my life have accused me of: Once as a teenager. Once in college. Once as an adult. Those words stung because there is more than a shred of truth in them.)

The bottom line is that I was broken enough to admit I was stumped on cracking the code for joyful living.  So I went on a quest for wisdom.  I started reading history books and revisited the classics of English and American literature.  I started reading biographies of great people. I read more philosophy.  And, I put myself on a self-study regimen of the world’s religions.

At that time, I read a book by John Wooden – the legendary coach of UCLA who won 13 NCAA basketball championships.  One of his life principles was “Drink deeply from great books.  Especially the bible.”

And so I did.  I started spending time with gracious and patient friends who understood the bible well (that thing can be confusing at first!!)  Things started to change in my head at first and then in my heart. I came to recognize the practical, spiritual, psychological, marital, financial, and social wisdom of God and Jesus. What started as an intellectual journey morphed into a spiritual reality.

And so here I am at age 53.  At risk of being a know-it-all again. I have to stay humble and hungry for God’s Truth.  I want to learn from godly 80-year olds who could look at my life and say: “Jeff, you’re still missing the point when it comes to _______.”

So what are my commitments?

1.      “Drink deeply from great books, especially the bible”

2.      “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

3.      “Stay humble and hungry for Truth.”

“Fear (awe, reverence and appreciation) of God is the beginning of wisdom.”  Proverbs 9:10

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Five Truths About Freedom

Sometimes I get too focused on helping Christians to live lives of greater love, joy, and good deeds at the expense of forgetting the basics of the good ole gospel.

Allow me reground us all in what it really means:

1.      In Romans 7:15-25, Paul is lamenting about his sin patterns and declares himself a “wretched man.” That’s a good step to begin with: he’s admitting/confessing that he’s got a problem. That’s humility. 

2.      He bursts out in anguish about “Who” can save him from this despicable cycle? He doesn’t say: “What strategy should I deploy to stop the cycle?” Nor does he say “Who can help me stop the cycle?” He’s saying “The cycle doesn’t seem to be going away real soon so who can save me from the penalty that I deserve because of it?” The answer is in verse 25: Jesus.  You see, the price we pay for unrepentant sin is separation from our perfect God now and after we die. The “good news” (a.k.a, The Gospel) is that Jesus already paid the price, is paying the price, and will pay the price for us.

3.      Most people think this is all too easy. That this equates to condoning --- and maybe even encouraging --- sin. Or that it’ll lead to laziness and people won’t serve in the church or serve the least of these. But Paul is clearly showing a repentant heart and a spirit of gratitude toward Christ for taking the heat for his mess ups. Improved behavior is the result of the realization of how much we are forgiven. Not a prerequisite for it.

4.      Living in the realization of our forgiveness --- I heard it once said – does not lead to being sinless, but it does lead us to sin less. Don’t expect perfection. Focus on improvement.

5.      Good behavior is the result of someone realizing they are saved from the penalty of their sin.  It’s not a part of the formula for receiving that salvation.

Humble yourself and confess that you’re a sinner. Acknowledge with gratitude that Christ bridges the gap between your imperfection and God’s perfection. Period.  Full stop. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your freedom and God’s unrestrained love for you comes by faith plus something else.

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

More on “The Way”

My April 6th blog highlights how my sabbatical rocked my world.  What started out as a time to decompress, turned into an unmistakable conviction to launch a ministry called The Way.

Many of you have been asking for more details, so here you go:

What’s in a name? The early followers of Christ were not called Christians.  They were called followers of The Way.  The Way is a discipleship ministry helping men identify and remove any barrier that hinders their ability to live and love like Jesus. More freedom, purpose, and joy.

Community Counts As I study how Jesus discipled men and reflect on my years of managing spiritual growth groups, it’s clear to me how intentional and authentic small groups accelerate individual growth. The Way will leverage the power of life-on-life -- iron sharpening iron -- in groups of 10-12 men.

Geography Matters I believe that if Christ came back today he would not use technology or modern transportation to disciple people. He would still focus locally, over time, with 12. All participants in a community of The Way will live within 1 hour of my home town of Evergreen CO so that they can be in realistic community.

Not a Program. Life Together.  While I will be bringing a lot of coaching expertise from The Joy Model and 12 years of spiritual direction, The Way isn’t “a program.” It’s not added on top of your life. It’s woven into the flow of your life.

Gender At this stage of the game God has me focusing on men only.  The pathway to freedom, purpose, and joy involves working through pain, shame, anger and guilt. I currently feel those issues are best dealt with in men-only environments.

Age. God told me to start helping men ~age 22-32. I asked Jesus if that meant I should stop helping the 45+ demographic I have historically served…or just add in the younger demographic.  In typical Jesus style, He answered my question by not answering the question: “Just show them the real me. Just set them free.” So for now I am launching one community of “Seasoned Leaders” and 3 communities of “Emerging Leaders”.

The Help I Need. If you know of any man in the Denver metro area looking for an authentic community to grow in, send them my way--- to The Way – to start living with more freedom, purpose and joy.

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

When Self Help is No Help at All

What an interesting week.  It’s so motivating for me to speak with people who are serious about their personal growth and desire to help others. I hear stories of breaking through… and where they got stalled.

I had three conversations that highlight why trying to make significant changes all on our own can be so darn hard.

The first person said, for the most part, “I have good intentions, but I’m not living intentionally.”  Other stuff just gets in the way, and, when all is said and done, more is often said than done.

The second person said they feel like they are living a “Groundhog Day” life.  (“Groundhog Day” is a movie about a guy who finds himself living the same day over and over --- and it happens to be February 2; a.k.a., Groundhog Day.) In essence, my friend is saying that time keeps slipping away and when he looks back on the recent past, nothing is really changing in his life.   

The third person had a slightly different situation going on:  She felt there was something that she  needed to be doing to move toward her goals.  I agreed. However, as we talked about all the different things going on in her life, it became clear that there was one big situation that was going to resolve itself in 2 weeks that made it clear that doing anything now made no sense at all.  The best course of action was “Wait and see… and then act.”

Each one of them realized that having a person(s) helping them sort through their life decisions was critical.

The big insight for me is that while “thinking your confusion out loud with others” is helpful, it has to be preceded by the humility to admit we need help.  In other words, the barrier to our growth is not always the lack of someone to talk to.  It’s the abundance of pride that prevents us from doing so.

Here’s something to think about for the rest of day: Confessing our brokenness to God is the key to eternal salvation.  Confessing our need for help to people can be our key to temporal salvation.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.”  Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Soup & Salad

The soup was better than I remembered it from the last time. As I ate, my lunch companion shared his story.  His childhood, high school, college, and early working years had set the trajectory of the life he was experiencing now in his mid-40’s.

“I’ve always been a hard worker.  My parents never had to motivate me.  It was just an unspoken rule in our family that hard work was the pathway to financial security and was the responsible thing to do as I started my own family.”

“In what ways has that been a good thing?” I asked.

“It’s been fabulous. I’ve built a financial base for my family that is the result of a career I can be proud of. I’ve worked hard. Always dealt honestly. Tried to honor people and God daily. We’re in a position where my wife doesn’t have to work, we are blessed to take great vacations, and my kids have the freedom to experience all that life has to offer.  If I keep on this path for another 10 years, we’ll be able to afford any college my kids get into and my wife and I should have a nest egg that’ll last us if we live to 120.”

“Wow, what’s not to like about that scenario?,” I said.

“Well, interesting you should ask.  That’s why my friend suggested I meet with you.”

“Ok. What’s up?”

“You see,” he continued, “the fact is I’m tired.  Like really tired. Actually ‘miserable’ is probably the more accurate word.”

“Go on.”

“The pace is killing me, but I can’t back off. It’s not just work that’s crazy busy --- all of my life is jammed packed with stuff and activities. But my wife and kids are accustomed to this lifestyle so I can’t back off.  Actually, I’m pretty comfortable with it all, too.  But the country club, ski house, vacations, and cars don’t appeal to me much anymore.  I feel like the dog that finally caught the car and now I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Ok”

“I feel trapped. The most immediate goal I have is to nail down my last kid’s college fund. Once that’s secured, I think I can explore other alternatives.”

“Is college the best gift you can offer your kids?” I asked.

“It’s not the best gift, but it is the key to getting them positioned for life-long financial security.”

“You’re probably right about that.  It got you to where you are today and will probably do the same for them. But you said, ‘It’s not the best gift.’  What is?”

“Well, in my most honest moments, I think knowing God, trusting Him and following Him would be the best for them.  And for me and my wife for that matter,” he said.

“And where are your kid’s with their faith,” I asked.

“Not so good. We moved a lot for my career when they were young so we never settled into a community or a church.  They had to constantly make new friends and sometimes they got connected with good kids and sometimes not so much.”

“How’s it been now that you’ve settled into Colorado these last few years?”

“Well, we were so excited to be here that we bought a place up in the mountains and have spent most of our winter weekends skiing. So we haven’t really found a church home. For the most part, I’d say their faith is pretty shallow… maybe even non-existent for the youngest two. None of us are connected much to God any more and we’re not doing much to help others.”

“So what’s the path forward?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “It’s a conundrum.  I feel like I have divided loyalties between the American Dream and the Kingdom of God and going ‘all in’ on either of them scares me, but I don’t know how to have a little of both. Frankly, I’m stumped. But I can’t keep on like this.”

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And now, Reader, if this were your life-long best friend, what advice would you give him?

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Instant Stress Reduction

I’ve come to realize that one of the greatest sources of stress in peoples’ lives is that they have divided loyalties. In other words, what we crave in both the day-to-day rhythm of our lives --- and in the long-term direction of our lives – doesn’t match up with the reality of our lives.

This creates dissonance, angst, and stress.

If you read last week’s blog, the man featured was a classic example of this:

·        He wants peace and rest, but his life is crazy busy.

·        He wants deeper relationships with his wife and kids, but their family is defined by consumerism.    

·        He wants to leverage all of who he is towards spreading God’s love, but he’s got a lifestyle and worldly dreams that have him chained to his work.

·        He wants real friends, but his travel keeps him isolated.

He’s trapped between competing loyalties and can’t make the big, courageous decisions needed to break free. He’s living the life he dreamed about in his 20’s, but he’s disillusioned that his heart isn’t feeling the way he hoped it would.

Some of the most miserable Christians I know are in this same pickle because they have one foot in the world and one foot following Jesus.

Here’s a practical tip and a spiritual tip for getting out of this:

Simplify: I don’t want to send the message that following Jesus and having a peaceful life equates to taking a vow of poverty, but the more we want “stuff,” the more we have to work to afford it and spend time maintaining/caring for it. My friend and mentor Bob Buford called it “The Leisure Myth.”  Ask anyone who’s finally sold a second home and they’ll know what I’m talking about. God doesn’t require we surrender nice things.  He’s encouraging us to surrender our attachment to nice things.  That’s a pathway to freedom.

Take a Risk on Jesus: Jesus said if you what you want really live, die to yourself.  What he’s saying is that we should in trade our values system for His.  When we focus on:

·        relationships

·        our personal connection to God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit

·        helping the poor, oppressed, refugee, imprisoned, sick, widows, orphans, etc.

·        letting people know how Jesus can change their “todays” and their eternities

…everything our hearts truly desire (peace, joy, rest, energy, hope, etc.) will be delivered.

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Two Paths to High Performance

There’s just one metric for “high performance” as a Christian: To live and love more like Christ daily.  The pathway is simple:

1.      Receive God’s love.

2.      Pass that love on by telling others about Him.  

3.      Help people at the practical/emotional/spiritual levels.  

This plays out in our work, relationships, communities, how we manage our money, etc.

This is easier said than done and I want to talk about one of the primary obstacles: Satan.

There are a number of schools of thought regarding Satan.  Some envision him in a human-like form with horns and a pitch fork.  Others envision more of a dark, spiritual force. The Apostle Peter described him as a prowling lion trying to devour us. Frankly, I don’t care which “version” of Satan you subscribe to, but please don’t discount that there is a very real, supernatural battle going on between good and evil.

(As a quick aside, God has purposely allowed this.  And has equipped His followers with His Spirit to fight and win the battle. He’s not going to do it by Himself. His plan is to do it through us.)

We can’t see cell phone signals, x-rays, a mother’s love, or esprit de corps amongst the championship team, but nobody denies they exist. It’s the same with evil. It’s a very real force that draws us away from God’s love and our appetite to pass it on. 

It exists in people, governments, and institutions. It manifests in the form of abject evil (e.g., genocide, sex trafficking); And less horrific forms (e.g., selfishness, consumerism, the worship of comfort and entertainment, feelings of worthlessness and shame, political correctness run amok.)

Here’s what you need to know about this reality: Satan is persistent and creative. He will do anything – super-dramatic or super-subtle – to prevent you from receiving God’s love and passing it on.

The good news is that Satan is not powerful. We don’t have to live shaking in our boots that the boogey man is lurking around every corner.  But we must be vigilant.

Here’s two things you can do:

1.      When you see, hear, or think anything that moves you away from pure love, invoke the name of Jesus.  Simply say: “In the powerful name of Jesus, I rebuke you Satan and will have nothing to do with you.”  And then, with your head held high and confidence in your gait, move on with courage and don’t give evil a second thought.  You may need to do this 10-20 times a day.

2.      Secondly, whatever negative or unloving thoughts or feelings come upon you during the day, replace the wrong thinking with the Truth about you, God, and how He has ordered the world to work. The key, of course, is to know the Truth of the Bible well enough so you can instantly shift your mind to the Truth to combat the lie.

Recognize the battle. Approach it wisely. Victory will be ours.

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

The Pace of Transformation

The volume of information that people are faced with daily continues to accelerate.  Interestingly, studies done by Daniel Amen and his brain science team at Amen Clinics show that most young people are actually growing in their ability to absorb and react to this volume quite well. 

Unfortunately, it’s developing neural pathways that are well-suited to video games, but not critical thinking.  Great fighter pilots. Horrible lawyers, politicians, artists, social scientists, theologians, etc.

The time required, however, for deep personal transformation --- where someone literally sees themselves and the world differently at both a conscious and subconscious level – is, based on my personal and life coaching experience, not accelerating.

Take a look at Jesus’s discipleship strategy.  I am convinced that if he came back today he would still go deep with a few for three years because that’s how long it takes to shape a disciple. The word “transform” in Romans 12:2 (“be transformed by the renewing of your mind”) is metamorphosis.  It’s a change in kind not degree.  It’s not about a better caterpillar.  It’s about becoming a butterfly.   

If you’ve read my book or followed my blog over the years, you know I am a proponent of managing well what you put into your brain. If you’re looking for peace, purpose, and joy, start reading the bible and other great books and put what you read into practice for three years straight.

Jesus told this parable in Luke 13:6-9: “Then he told them a story: “A man had an apple tree planted in his front yard. He came to it expecting to find apples, but there weren’t any. He said to his gardener, ‘What’s going on here? For three years now I’ve come to this tree expecting apples and not one apple have I found. Chop it down! Why waste good ground with it any longer?’

The gardener said, ‘Let’s give it another year. I’ll dig around it and fertilize, and maybe it will produce next year; if it doesn’t, then chop it down.’”

So what are the practical implications of this?

·        Be patient with  yourself.  The “old man is slow to die.”

·        Be patient with others.

·        Don’t give up. Leaning into your growth for a year and then stopping won’t get you where you want to go.

·        Giving your spiritual growth “the old college try” for a full year every 5 years over the course of 15 years won’t work either. We need to commit to a new way of life not fads or spiritual crash diets.

Abide. Read. Think deeply. Process things. Talk with others. Journal.  This is more like argriculture than arithmetic.  Enjoy the journey as much as you imagine you’ll enjoy the destination.

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Denika Spadafora Denika Spadafora

Firmly Rooted

The beauty and freedom of following Christ nears completion when every dimension of our life is integrated and in unity with God’s plan for our life and the role He has arranged for us to play in His larger plan.

An aspect of life that Christians tend to forget about bringing into the fold of God’s will is our bodies. In my book, I refer to this as the Temple – the second “T” in the M.A.S.T.E.R. Plan.

My wife, Michelle, has a ministry called Faithful Workouts that focuses specifically on the connection between faith, fitness and food.

For those who are motivated to improve their health, they often force themselves to start exercising and commit to the latest diet. Often, we can push through and stick with this new way of living for a few weeks --- and we may even lose a few pounds -- but typically we end up back in old habits. This cycle of yo-yo dieting and exercise can haunt people year after year without ever achieving optimal health. 

From Michelle’s 34 years in the fitness industry she knows that lasting, healthy change happens from the inside out.  She is leading a retreat in October to walk people through the specifics of this powerful and proven approach.

At the Faithfully Rooted Retreat (a 3-night, 4-day experience Oct 4-7 in Tampa FL) Michelle, my daughter Denika (certified in Holy Yoga), my son-in-law Avery (a phenomenal cook) and yours truly will help you to establish deep, strong roots to give you the physical, spiritual, and nutritional foundations to equip you to make the changes you desire.  

This experience will enable you to leave this retreat with lasting lifestyle transformation. To ensure that you will take all you've learned at the retreat and transition it into life back at home, we've included a one-on-one coaching session to design a personalized and realistic wellness plan for you. Our goal is for this retreat to jump start you on your journey to a healthy life!

Find out more and register here.

Take care of your temple. Make sure you’re healthy (mind, body and soul) enough to love and serve others well.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. (Eph. 3:18)

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