Update on My Conviction Last Week
Some of you may not know this, but I was convicted last week. Here’s the back story:
For several weeks, my wife, Michelle, has been excitedly designing a series of shirts to be sold through her health and fitness ministry (www.faithfulworkouts.com). When they were finally ready, she went to pick them up from the manufacturer and she was telling me all about them on the phone as she drove home.
Four hours had gone by since she arrived home and I still had not asked her to see them. I completely failed to share in her excitement. She said that really hurt. I was convicted. What a dope.
As I thought about why I was such a loser in this situation, it dawned on me that busyness was at the root of it. I was so pre-occupied with work that I didn’t have the bandwidth to think about her feelings. (And I’m the guy who wrote a book proclaiming that the first step toward joy is to have margin in our calendars!)
Of all the elements of the M.A.S.T.E.R. Plan (my acrostic for helping people on a pathway toward more joy) the Margin area is by far the toughest for me.
As I think through the root of my busyness, I don’t think it’s time management: I recently hired someone to help me at the Halftime Institute and I hired my niece to help me with my Joy Model website. And, in general, I’m pretty efficient with my days.
I think my busyness is linked to my drive for perfection and accomplishment. And I think those things are linked to my desire to impress people and/or not let them down because I don’t want them to think badly of me.
Ah… that’s it: My busyness is rooted in fear of other peoples’ opinions. There’s the painful truth.
I need to remind myself that the only opinion that matters is God’s. And`fortunately, he’s already passed judgment on me – I was guilty, but He’s overturned the conviction.
Looks like I need to meditate on Galatians 1:10 “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Closing thought: Every action and behavior is rooted in a deeper thought or belief. Look at how you’re spending your time and peel back the layers of the onion to see if the thought or belief deep down below is rooted in fear or in love.